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Growing older, but not up

Scott Kern is a South Jersey-based writer, husband and father to an awesome daughter, Lauren. He and his wife Marie have lived in Moorestown, NJ for over 20 years. He loves the Flyers, Phillies, music, sports, photography and all things native to the Delaware Valley and the Jersey Shore. So far in Life, in the words of Jimmy Buffett, he has enjoyed growing older but not up!


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Lessons Learned


Lessons Learned

“In school, you’re taught a lesson and given a test.  In life, you’re given a test and taught a lesson”. ~ Tom Bodett

They say “experience” is what you get when you don’t get what you want. 

A new chapter of my life starts this week.  I got a new job.   A quick glance at my professional resume will tell you that this occurrence has happened exactly three times in the last 24 years, or roughly half of my life on this planet.

So while this milestone is certainly a cause for celebration, I also think this moment deserves some reflection about what I learned as I look forward to a new environment, surrounded by new co-workers, excited for the new challenges and successes that lie ahead.

The Corporate World has drastically changed since this naïve soon-to-be working professional graduated Rutgers University at a time when the first personal computers and music playing on clear plastic discs were all the rage.  Those changes include how we find a job, interview for a job and if we’re lucky, ultimately land that “dream” job.

The need for instantaneous information and intense competition continue to drive corporations in an environment where over the course of nearly three decades; cheaper and quicker has replaced mentoring and learning curves. 

So, what exactly did I learn during these past three years of surviving outsourcing, downsizing, networking and corporate reorgs:

#1 - Your dream is not necessarily their dream.
I guess, I knew this to be the case all along.  Deep down I realized I was fighting some fight I knew I could never win.  Some modern day – David and Goliath battle with a completely different ending.  What motivates you and interests you is fine, so long as it fits into the company’s overall plans and corporate strategy.  Job satisfaction is not a company benefit like health insurance or PTO days which must be offered to the employee workforce.  The company is under no obligation to ensure you “like” your job.  The company survives by providing a superior product or service to consumers, exceeding stock expectations and growing market share and profitability.  If you happen to enjoy your work while accomplishing these corporate objectives on behalf of the company, well then, ‘good for you’.  However, if there is more give than take in this employee and employer relationship (the same can be said for any personal relationship), well then, “Houston we have a problem”.  

#2 – Sometimes it is personal.
Regardless of this “team” concept that is constantly preached in the workplace, we workers are all constantly evaluated (‘racked and stacked’) against our peers.  And unlike Tee Ball games played by five year olds, rest assured there will be winners and losers as part of the annual evaluation/compensation process.  Quite often, a random self-imposed “bell curve” distribution will determine The Haves from The Have Nots.  And because this process is managed and administered by human beings it will always contain very real human prejudices and judgements not only about you the worker, but about you the person. 

Managers and other participants with authoritative power will ‘game’ the system for their immediate personal benefit and/or the benefit of their team.  At stake in this process and linked together for you the employee are compensation and advancement.  By products of this flawed process include increases/decreases to your standard of living which in turn drive your desired lifestyle away from the office.  In this arena, anything you say or do, (potentially) can and will be held against you for the betterment of others.  Tread carefully here and avoid being a casualty.

#3 – You must create this thing called Work/Family balance.
Nowhere in the company manual does it say, the company is required to provide you with work/family balance, whatever that business oxymoron really means.  They may offer you a laptop and the ability to work from home the day your new state of the art washer and dryer gets delivered to your home, but you must manage this constant balancing act of meeting your work deliverables and ‘having/maintaining a life’ away from those aforementioned deliverables.  This one can be a particularly tricky (slippery slope) as the precedents you set while working from home, checking emails on vacation, etc…..can possibly become the new ‘norm’ from the employer’s perspective moving forward as ‘worker’ expectations become set and reset.

#4 – Fear and control and the dance they perform.
Managing by fear is perhaps the gravest of all sins bestowed upon the workplace employee by so called Senior Management.  To the reasonable person, it would appear unconscionable to not only create that environment in the first place, but then reward and promote senior lieutenants who perpetuate its growth among the various levels of staff.  With this fear comes control.  However, what management does not (or cannot) fully comprehend is the fact that a fearful and controlled worker is not a productive and creative worker.  Once in place this vicious cycle then feeds on itself.  And then, when two other department employees and I give notice in the same week, they appear quite honestly surprised.  Really?    

#5 – Walking away is at times a necessary survival technique.
Whether we’ve experienced a bad marriage, a fractured personal relationship, a faulty automobile, or a bad financial investment, when analyzed in the rear view mirror, we can honestly admit, yeah…..the signs were there.  It is common fact that most human beings dread change.  Against all odds, we often hold out hope that our fortunes will somehow miraculously change.  However, if we are honest with ourselves before our heads hit the pillow at night, we know deep down – it was time.  This is where age and experience provide a welcomed and much needed perspective.  Often we must cut our losses and move on, so that we can live to fight to another battle.  Like that old 60s protest song once proclaimed….”Time has come today”.

“Oh yeah…..looking back on it now……sure there were some things I would have done differently – said everyone!” 

Today, I have a new lease on life.  Once again I am reminded that I control less than I would like to ‘think’ I control.  However, I lived through these past three years, so I know more now than I did then.  I am a survivor and will use this experience “gained” in my next employment situation. 

Today, I allow myself to let go of the negativity that controlled my previous workplace environment.  I fully embrace this new beginning.

I have been chosen for this new and important position by this welcoming company.  I am confident, when I combine my breadth of industry experience along with the assistance of my new colleagues, I (we) will be successful.

It is a good day!

posted by South Jersey Local News at 6:41 AM 0 Comments

About Me

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Name: South Jersey Local News
Location: Moorestown, New Jersey

In no particular order the people, places and things that warped my brain: Jays (Elbow Room), TOPPS Baseball cards, Jersey Shore, Almost Famous, Spinal Tap, Stand By Me, WMMR, Cameron Crowe, Mel Brooks, Little League, LP’s, Rolling Stone, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Air Hockey, Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band, The Beach Boys, The Sandlot, Whiffle Ball, Say Anything, Woody Allen, Flyers, Caddyshack, Stone Pony, The Big Chill, Taping LP’s, AM Radio, The Spectrum, Yes, UDel, A Christmas Story, Diner, Photography, Pinball, The Princess Bride, Wire Ball, Slap Shot, Wildwood, Collecting LP’s, Barry Levinson, Baseball Digest, High Fidelity, Brigantine, Phillies, WFIL, 8 Tracks, Margate Bars, Pi Kappa Phi Frat, Jon Anderson, FM Radio, Jimmy Buffett, Brian Wilson, WIOQ (Ed Sciaky), Golf, Hockey Digest, U2, Dr. Jeckyll’s (bar), 45’s, Animal House, Ethan & Joel Coen, The Pope of Greenwich Village, The Sandlot, Dazed and Confused, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Stones, Beatles, Reservoir Dogs, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Maloney’s Bike-a-thon, Pulp Fiction, Hiking, The Jug “Handle”(bar), Asbury Park, The Vet, Genesis, Yoga, Tom Petty, Ferris Bueller, WMGK, Pink Floyd, Motown......

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  • How Jimmy Buffett, Golf and Spotify Saved My Life ...
  • My Summer Girl
  • The Next 20
  • In God's Country
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  • School Boy Heart
  • Searching For Jimmy Buffett, Finding Scott Kern
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