The Pirate, the Boss and the Good Karma Spirit

This weekend I made Lauren (her) very first Yes mixtape……

Does anyone even remember the band Yes?

When Lauren was younger, I tried in vain to feed her a steady diet of Classic 60’s and 70’s rock and roll.  I would load up my Technics 5 disc player on a Friday night as we sat around as a family, playing Junior Trivial Pursuit, Yahtzee and Uno, drinking soda and munching on hot buttered popcorn.  I secretly hoped the music that I had come to love over the years would seep into the deep recesses of her subconscious as we laughed and giggled late into the night.  If I was about to teach her about my life it would have to start here.

A few years later, when Lauren entered first grade, I would make a “deal” with my favorite daughter, in which we would fill the five prized open disc “slots” with some of her favorite CD’s and some of mine.  Yes - I gave her the three CD openings while took the remaining two.  Okay, okay…….maybe only after Marie stepped in as the “Voice of Reason”.  Some things in the Kern household never change!

Our typical Friday playlist would consist of Britney Spears, ‘N Sync, Spice Girls, Springsteen and the Beatles.   More years passed and her Hello Kitty portable CD player could be heard blasting her favorite music from her upstairs bedroom, while I was resigned to my discman and headphones lounging on the couch on the first floor.  A musical détente ensued. 

We reconnected later during her high school teen years and to this day still continue to trade, burn and listen to music together.  I’m extremely thankful for this very personal connection between her and me.  As was the case with me and my Dad, no matter how much friction was present in the household when I was younger, we could always talk “sports” likewise Lauren and I can always talk “music”.  A special bond I will forever treasure!

In the musical Church of Scott there have been many disciples, some saints, quite a few sinners and even some martyrs, but I always find myself coming back to the Holy Trinity of the High Elders:

The Pirate

The Pirate came to me in my mid-twenties.  At that stage in my life, it was easy to find a connection with this smiling barefoot performer singing of frozen drinks, sandy beaches and life on the water.  For me, these playful pursuits were merely diversions that allowed me to stray (only on weekends) from my precisely calculated career path.  However, the more I listened, the more I learned and understood.  He showed me that there was certainly more to life than the work……

My personal epiphany came on a Caribbean cruise to celebrate our 15^th wedding anniversary.  Loaded with my walkman and his tapes, Marie and I traveled first hand to the islands where these songs were born.  We walked on the same beaches, swam in the same oceans and spoke with the same locals.  Suddenly these songs became real and in the process they became mine as well.

When we arrived back on the mainland I knew there was no turning back.  Like Gardner McKay, Humphrey Bogart, Ernest Hemingway and Hank Williams had shown the Pirate his eventual life path, it was my turn now.  I was likewise transformed.   Suddenly a personal wanderlust was awakened in my soul.  I quickly needed to see and experience more of this planet.

Additionally, a deeper appreciation of nature, the environment and the bigger world outside New Jersey soon followed.  My camera now accompanied me everywhere, hoping to catch the perfect landscape, portrait, sunrise and sunset as I started to explore these beautiful foreign places as well as local habitats, whenever I was off-the-clock from the working world.

Years later, my weekend biking and hiking “walkabouts” included his music and my trusty Nikon camera.  There is so much more to see, do and experience, but more importantly to document in prose and photos, to prove that we once roamed these lands and oceans like the explorers and adventurers that came before us. 

“I need time for the play”  “I just want to live happily ever after, every now and then” “And still twenty four hours maybe sixty good years, it’s really not that long a stay”  “They’re checking the evidence, may be some charges pressed, the only one they got me on, is some misdemeanor craziness”  “I’m growing older, but not up”

Thanks, Jimmy and the Coral Reefers!

The Boss

Along with thousands of other kids living in the Delaware Valley, I was introduced to the Boss by Ed Sciaky, legendary WIOQ/WMMR DJ.  Stories passed down the rock lineage tell of Ed letting the Boss crash on his couch on more than one occasion back-in-the-day.  Ed was our personal connection to the Boss on the radio. 

About this time, the Boss was my “Sixth Man”, along with my best high school friends known collectively as the Cherokee “5”.  His crew was Crazy Janey, Wild Billy, G Man, Hazy Davy and Killer Joe.  Boy, could I relate with my high school buddies consisting of Doc, BK, D Man and Burroughs! 

At the very moment he was singing songs from the Darkness album, I was trying to break free of the parental chains of mom and dad.  And then when he was writing songs for the River album, I was dating Marie and then one year later, living his lyrics of a young married life!

He seemed like this lost (slightly older) brother from another mother.  He and his best friends on earth (the E Street Band) seemed to be singing about particular life events just before I was ready to experience them first hand.  I learned about ideals such as community, brotherhood, struggle, friendship and the working life from his songs. 

The Boss finally grew up.  Which meant so did I.  But he still kept singing about more adult-themed issues documented on albums such as The Rising, Magic and Working on a Dream.  We both had aged and were moving forward into uncharted territory.

However, much of what the Boss sang about came full circle once Lauren entered her teen years, which was about the exact time I had first discovered the Boss all those years ago.  Suddenly I could relate to the father figure in his songs.  I was once the rebel, now the father, the establishment, the authority figure.  And as the dad, I sincerely hope that my daughter’s mistakes are truly her own.   Only time will tell…….

“We liked the same music, we liked the same bands, we liked the same clothes”  “We learned more from a three minute record than we ever did in school”  “One soft infested summer, me and (Marie) became friends”  “Beneath the city, two hearts beat”   “Together we moved like spirits in the night, all night”

Thanks, Bruce and the E Street Band!

The Good Karma Spirit

Much of what I learned in life, I learned from the lyrics of the Good Karma Spirit and his often and ever changing English bandmates.   

At first, I was drawn to the escapism quality of the music.  Admittedly, many of the lyrics were strange and abstract taken in the literal form, but when combined with the progressive rock melodies and the band’s one-of-a-kind rock sound, the total picture seemed to make perfect sense…..at least to me.   

The Sprit pointed out, over and over, how we are all connected to each other, the beauty of the planet and the need for love.  I am not an overly religious person, nor quite a spiritual person, however upon hearing this music for the first time, an immediate lifelong connection was forged.  Beginning with the band’s simple moniker, the music is filled with an absolute and overwhelming feeling of hopefulness and positive vibe!

Like the music of the Boss, the music of the Sprit guided Marie and I during the early years of dating and eventually through the first years of marriage, while only in our early twenties.  Maybe for that reason alone, this music will always hold a special place in our hearts.  So many life events happened when YesMusic was playing in the background.   We came of age with this music!

When I hear this music years later, in my mind I appear younger and ageless.  Time stands still.

“Don’t surround yourself with yourself, move on back two squares, send an instant karma to me, initial it with love and care”  “Don’t forget to leave good footprints behind”   “Our time is manmade, our fear is manmade, religion manmade, love is forever”  “We love when we play”  “Ten true summers we’ll be there and laughing too”  “And you and I called over valleys of endless seas”  “Never underestimate the signals coming to you”

Thanks, Jon and the many players of Yes!

Whenever I need to go to church to sort things out…..years later I can still put on this music and invariably the lyrics and melodies help me sort out the pieces of my big life puzzle.

So Lauren, continue to enjoy your generation’s music as well as some of your Dad’s favorite bands.  May music lift your soul and leave an everlasting impression of your life as it did for me when I was your tender age.  And when you reach my age, may you look back fondly at the events of your life that occurred when the music was playing in the background……

Listen to the Music

Listen to the Music

(Dedicated to the Deadbeats….for still keeping the Music Flag flying)

How many times does a song come on the radio and you’re instantly reminded of a particular memory?  You hear a particular song that perhaps you haven’t heard in many years and suddenly your brain flashes back to a particular place, an exact time in your life and eventually who you were with when the music was playing.

Judging by some of the recent YouTube video clips posted by friends on facebook…..I don’t think I’m in the minority here!

Well, that’s exactly what happened when I tuned in WMMR’s annual promotional Back to School A-Z radio format last week.  For those of us in the minority, who still listen to this medium called “radio”, this time each year, MMR reminds us that they once played solo Phil Collins songs, one-hit wonders like The Warrior and long formatted songs from 70’s progressive rock bands such as Yes and Genesis. 

I heard Listen like Thieves, Listen to her Heart and Listen to the Music played in consecutive order.  The INXS song was on one of the many cassette tapes that lived in my car during the four years spent living in North Jersey in the 80’s, commuting back and forth to South Jersey for weekend family events.  The Tom Petty song was off his second album.  His third album Damn the Torpedoes which came out the year I graduated Cherokee High School would ultimately make him world famous.  Finally, the Doobie Brothers song was from the band I saw with my high school buds at my very first concert one year later.  Marie Mazzochette joined me that night.  I seem to recall that we almost ran out of gas in her Chevy Vega in North Philly after that awesome performance at the Mann.  We were young and in love……

Speaking of the Cherokee “5”…..  We would all gather one year later at JFK Stadium in September 1981, to see the Rolling Stones kick-off their North American Tour in support of their then new album Tattoo You.  Whew…..that was 30 years ago!  I remember we brought hoagies and Alabama Slammers (yes it was legal) inside the venue.  George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers (I was attending the University of Delaware at the time) opened.  Journey (huge rock stars then) came on next.  They had some technical problems and only played a short set.  Later in the afternoon…..The Stones took the stage!  It would be the only time I would see The Glimmer Twins live.  I was one of more than 100,000 in attendance that day.  They opened with Under My Thumb.  We roared in appreciation.  I was 19 years old.

Do you remember when you would turn on the radio hoping to hear a particular song being played just for you?  Hoping to hear a song to pump you up or mellow you out, as you headed into the unknown night with your best friends by your side.  Or maybe you were tuning in to hear the MMR “world premier” of the new Police album - before you could buy it at your favorite record store.  This was long ago, before focus groups existed that (told you) which songs were liked by the masses, songs you should also like and eventually purchase.  Before radio song “playlists” were programmed by computers.  Before songs were used to promote and sell products for Madison Avenue, by people who had no idea who the band was, what songs were in the band’s back catalog and what the individual members of the band even looked like!

Love Train by the O’Jays was a personal favorite of mine, listening in on my tiny AM radio.  The soul song was one of the cornerstones of the “Philly Sound” crafted by legendary local record producers Huff and Gamble.  To me it never had anything to do with a billion dollar brewery empire located in Colorado.  Just What I Needed followed My Best Friend’s Girl (natural double-shot) off the Cars first album.  It was a staple in my tape deck as me and high school buds cruised around South Jersey in our first beater cars, the ink barely dry on our driver’s licenses.  It will never be about some Big Box Store selling me electronic toys and gadgets.  This song was about my youth - dammit!

Sciaky and Tearson, Debbi and Helen spun these songs and others.  This music was new back then.  Our local DJ’s would play these songs and talk passionately about the music and the bands they were discovering.  They were our friends, although we never met them.  Actually, many years later, I did have the distinct privilege of meeting and interviewing Debbi Calton for my Rock Online website, circa 2002.  And I might add…..she was just as cool as I thought she would be!  My “Almost Famous” moment, for sure…..

Years later….whenever I hear a song from Pink Floyd’s The Wall, I am immediately transported back to my senior year of high school, nervous and anxious about going away to college in the fall of 1979.  Hearing any song from Springsteen’s Born in the USA album will always take me back to my brief time “living in the swamps of (North) Jersey” in Budd Lake after I graduated college in 1984.  I will never understand why I’m wired in this manner.  Maybe I’m not supposed to know “why” these moments happen to me and just enjoy the musical flashbacks from my cerebral jukebox when they occur.  I’m cool with that!

Occasionally, a song will be playing on the radio in the middle of my workday and I find myself (without even realizing it) instantly texting Marie or Lauren as the first musical notes register in my brain.  It’s like some subtle nudge from the musical universe, forcing me to stop what I doing at that exact moment and let my wife and daughter know that I’m thinking of them, that I remember a particular shared experience between us when the music was playing. 

Our generation moved from 45’s (singles) to LP’s (albums).  Then there were 8 tracks which turned into cassette tapes (my favorite) as we became a more mobile population rockin’ out late at night with our best friends cruising around in our automobiles.  Soon CD’s and computer song libraries followed.  Apple, Inc. created this thing called an iPod and suddenly my collection of over 250 albums and cassette tapes fit on this devise roughly the size of a credit card.  Internet radio stations like Sirius/XM popped on the airwaves and suddenly we started to “download” our favorite songs instead of buying albums at our favorite record stores in the mall.  Video (had definitely) killed the Radio Star!  We tuned in, turned on and moved forward!

From the sidelines, I watched my daughter progress from Britney Spears to Backstreet Boys to Hillary Duff to Jimmy Buffett to Tom Petty to Lil Wayne (parental cringe here) to The Starting Line to ……..  In the interim, my teenage kid made me mixtapes (actually CD’s) that included songs from her fave bands with monikers such as Snow Patrol, Switchfoot, The Fray, Jack Johnson, Good Charlotte and Rise Against.  However, she still found time to occasionally raid my CD cabinet searching for my Tom Petty, Queen, Beatles and Springsteen discs.   Together we went to Nickelback, John Mayer and Dashboard Confessional shows.  Over the last couple years, I took her to see some of my musical heroes; McCartney, Petty, U2, Springsteen and the Beach Boys, among others.  Shows and times shared with Lauren that I will never forget! 

After hundreds of concerts and thousands of hours listening to rock and roll on the FM dial…….where we go musically from here, I have no idea!  So long as I continue to, as my friend Monica says, quoting Grace….”Feed My Head”.

So, excuse me for one second as I turn up this song.  Man, I love this tune!

Oh, oh, listen to the music…..

Oh, oh, listen to the music…..

All the time……..

Summer is a State of Mind

It’s that time of year kiddies…..

I know the calendar tells me I still have twenty some days until the Autumnal Equinox but that is in direct competition with the Back to School and Halloween ads which dominate the radio and TV air waves beamed in from businesses driven by sales figures, that long ago forgot all about the summer dreams of children on carefree hot summer nights.   Nights when the windows of our house were open and you could hear the sounds of the street and feel the warm summer breezes.  So today, I stow away our beach chairs, fold the beach towels and place Marie’s beach bag in storage for another year.   

My daughter’s most favorite possessions in the world currently lie in organized piles in our living room.  These include the necessary staples of a typical college student; lamps, pillows, linens and room dividers, along with framed photos and picture collages of friends and family members.  She has carefully selected these uniquely personal items to keep her company for the next nine months in the confines of her college suite away from mom and dad. 

She begins her sophomore year at Rider this week. 

This year she is living in a six girl suite with her BFF’s; Stefanie, Meagen, Christy, Mary and Alex.  These girls were once college strangers that became college friends during her freshman year.  These are girls she has secretly confided with, studied with, partied with, cried with and schemed with, together living the College Experience when their moms and dads were not around.  These girls know my daughter’s deepest secrets and fears, share inside jokes and moments that I will never have the privilege of knowing.  As parents, that reality gives us a moment to pause, but at this stage in their lives, this is exactly the way things should be playing out.   

Remember our college days, parents……

We have both learned a lot since we were last together on this campus.  Lauren has learned about the life lessons challenges teach us, while I’ve learned that this journey is hers and hers alone.  It is not mine.  It is not Marie’s.  We may try and get our kids into certain schools to follow in our footsteps, but ultimately they must choose their own destination.  We may also try and help them with their college essays, but in the end they must find their own voice.  This is very difficult for parents to accept.  It was for me.  Gone are the days of putting band-aids on skinned knees and taking them out to their favorite restaurants when life’s disappointments visited.  Lauren will be twenty years old in January.

The best Marie and I can do is to tell her that we love her.  However, the ball is fully in her court.   Having one year of college behind her, she is also in a better place to accept this responsibility than she was this time last year.  So is dad.    

This weekend Marie and I sat down with Lauren and expressed our concerns and reinforced our expectations for college year number #2.    We praised her past accomplishments, while suggesting the course load and work effort will only intensify this year.  We told her we love her.  We told her we support her.  We remain extremely proud of the young woman she is becoming, however tomorrow will be another day and another challenge will be presented to her.  It is no different for mom and dad decades removed from syllabuses and frat parties.  How she accepts this fact-of-life will ultimately help to shape her character and determine the likelihood she will be happy and successful three years from now when she is introduced into the Education profession as a College Graduate.

It’s now all about her putting forth her absolute best effort.  Last year is over.  No more excuses, she’s already taken a one year dry-run lap on this test course.  While she did good last year, both Marie and I believe she can do better.  I told her I do not expect a 4.0 GPA but I do expect her best and complete effort.  She should have no regrets this time next year when she begins her junior year.  I told her I believe this year it will be more difficult living among five other girls, amid diversions and distractions, with the availability and access to cars and escapism always lingering in the background.  I remember when I had a car down at Delaware!  I also recounted to Lauren, my inability to finish my CPA certification early in my professional career and how a decision I made then, impacts my future career choices now.  I don’t want her post-college choices to be limited.   Her chances for success and happiness start now, not in three years when she receives that college diploma. 

Don’t get me wrong, I do want her to have a blast at college.  Sadly, she will never ever have this much freedom again.  I’ve already lived this stage of her life, so I know this to be true.  I will always fondly remember my fraternity filled college days at the University of Delaware.  Going away to college, was absolutely the best thing I did.  I can already sense that Lauren made a good decision going away for her post secondary education, especially in a small college environment.  She has embraced Rider and Rider her.  She calls it home.  While that may be tough for a parent to accept, I’m glad she’s happy with her college choice.  Not all of her high school friends have fared as well.  In that regard, she is slightly ahead of the game.

So……it’s been a great summer of 2011 for dad and daughter.   While it was a quick and fast paced three months, we had some very memorable times together, with our family vacation to Mexico being a highlight for both of us!  We shared some Phillies’ games, concerts, movies and fun times down the Shore.  We blinked and summer raced by. 

Now it’s time for both of us to buckle down and get back to the task at hand.

As for summer, Jimmy taught me it’s all a “State of Mind”.   Soon we will both have some time to unwind and relax in the company of our friends and together once our work is completed.

I’m very much looking forward to those moments together.  Like summer, I have complete faith they will once again arrive…….