Pursuit of Happyness

Merriam-Webster defines "happiness" as "good fortune;" however, a special notation is included with this definition—the word “obsolete.” A secondary updated definition describes a state of "well-being, contentment or joy."

Urban Dictionary defines “happiness” as peeing in your pants, where everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth.

I’m thinking somewhere between wet and dry pants lies the answer to our eternal happiness, but I must admit I have some serious doubts that my happiness is solely determined by the suitability of the clothing apparel that fits my body, south of my navel.

Happiness—it means different things for different people. What it means, what is important, what is not important, etc. to attain our personal happiness. It is also greatly impacted by where we are in our life’s journey. I would say as human beings we all think about this word from time to time. However, given the current economic pressures many of us are feeling now, along with the never-ending aging process we all must move through, we’ve likely thought more about this concept these past few years versus a decade ago.

One thing is for certain—your personal happiness changes as you age. Youth gives us a fleeting happiness that comes with few responsibilities and many new exciting experiences. Young adulthood gives us an accomplishment happiness that comes with such things as a new job, romance, house and car. Our middle years give us a perspective happiness that comes with watching our children struggle and succeed, as well as own individual ups and downs, victories and temporary setbacks. I’m hopeful our latter years will give us a peaceful happiness that includes forgiveness, gratitude and serenity. No doubt, that would be the best possible happiness “scenario” I could imagine.

I can remember coming of age in the '80s, during which time our nation enjoyed an economic boon. During this era there was a popular bumper sticker that read: “He who dies with the most toys wins.” That may be, but remember that individual is still dead. Like most people, I enjoy the finer things in life. I would argue that's a very human trait to be sure. However, I will tell you I no longer obsess or strive for those things or objects that at times ruled my life when I was in my 20s. I am ready to simplify my life, surroundings and pursuits of happiness.

Last night, we walked along the beach while the restaurant beach band played Dylan songs that echoed over the sand. We climbed up the solitary lifeguard stand like a couple of teenagers who found the keys to Heaven's gate. We held each other close and quietly talked about the things that friends and lovers talk about when the world doesn't matter ... We laughed, cried and dreamed, listening to the ocean waves crashing along the shoreline. Life could not have been any sweeter. I am blessed beyond what ordinary words can describe ...

At this stage in our lives, I think we all know people who have more, as well as people who have less than we do from an economic point of view. I know a friend who has more money that I will ever earn in my lifetime. However, a recent divorce has left him with half of that fortune. He has become lonely and bitter, obsessed with making sure his money lasts him into his twilight years. He calculates his stock portfolio’s net worth daily as I watch him age, and in the process lose track of the dreams he once shared with me.

Another friend of mine lives a very conservative and meager lifestyle. She and her husband struggle to make ends meet. Unfortunately, she has had more than her fair share of tough times, but surrounded by her kids and close friends, I have never once heard her complain about her lot in life, knowing she would be perfectly justified in doing so.

While wealth certainly has its advantages in providing for a financial means to become happy, in and of itself it does not mean you will be happy. You don't always get to pass Go and collect that $200 dollars. With half a century under my belt, I’m convinced true happiness runs deeper than the balance in your 401K statement.

As an accountant, I've been counting things my whole life. As a young child it was Matchbox cars, then baseball cards, counting down the days left to finish high school, then it was college. As a working adult I've counted month-end accounting closings, counted up the number of tax clients I have, and counted down the number of years left on my mortgage. Someday, I hope to only have to count the number of sunrises and sunsets enjoyed, while surrounded by friends and family.

Don’t count your years, make your years count!

I watched her silently from across the table, talking and laughing with her boyfriend about some crazy moment they recently shared together. There was a clear sense of maturity in her mannerisms and how they interacted with each other. In that brief moment, she was no longer my little girl, but a young adult now part of this world. All those fears and concerns I once had as the father of this child now seemed so distant and removed. That’s not to say I do not continue to worry about her well-being—I do—but at this particular moment a sense of calm and happiness came over me knowing she’s going to be alright. She is fairly confident on what she wants and how she will get there. I found myself, once again, blessed beyond what ordinary words could describe ...

My Plan A remains unchanged for the next three to five years. More importantly, my Plan B is starting to take shape in front of me. I envision future pursuits tied less and less to corporations and more tied to me. I can see passions and hobbies I have been cultivating this past decade or so; my tax business, photography and writing starting to come into focus. I will also continue to enjoy various forms of fitness and release in the form of hiking, kayaking, skiing and golfing. These are the things that define who I am, not my profession of nearly 30 years.

I work to live. I do not live to work. Hopefully in the latter half of the next decade, my pursuits will be so much fun, I won’t even be working at all. 

In the coming weeks, I will be starting a part-time photography business with my best friend from childhood. Next summer, I plan on buying a used longboard, with the hope of convincing my daughter’s boyfriend to teach me how to surf the waves of LBI. Beyond that, who knows?

My nieces and daughter have adopted a popular expression found on various social media sites: “YOLO,” which is an acronym for “You only live once.” I can certainly relate to this lifestyle choice. I always walked to my own drummer’s beat, which was usually different than most. It’s probably too late to stop now.

Carpe diem my friends; wherever your travels may take you in the coming weeks, remember to take time for you. Nobody is going to give you this “me” time, you have to go out and own it!

Finally, here’s to your individual Pursuit of Happiness. I believe it’s included in your personal Declaration of Independence.