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Growing older, but not up

Scott Kern is a South Jersey-based writer, husband and father to an awesome daughter, Lauren. He and his wife Marie have lived in Moorestown, NJ for over 20 years. He loves the Flyers, Phillies, music, sports, photography and all things native to the Delaware Valley and the Jersey Shore. So far in Life, in the words of Jimmy Buffett, he has enjoyed growing older but not up!


Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Next Wave


My cell phone vibrated on my bedroom dresser waking me from a sound sleep on a Sunday morning, my last chance to sleep-in before another dreaded work week begins.  It was a text message from my daughter.  I clicked on the message and a lovely sunrise photo of the Jersey Shore appeared.  The message read “Brigantine Inn from our room’s view this morning”.  I smiled as I recognized the familiar silhouette. 

Turns out Lauren, Brian and her college friends were spending the weekend in Atlantic City celebrating her girlfriend Meagen’s 21st birthday.  I wondered – Did she just go to bed or was she up early?  I paused – Did I really want to know her answer to my question?  Lauren turned 21 this past January.  Over the past few months, she has enjoyed partying with her ZTA sorority friends as each one crossed over that “official” threshold into Adulthood.

As Lauren has settled into her third year of college, Marie and I had begun to settle into this (pre) Empty Nester phase of our lives.  Sometimes it’s as easy a riding a bicycle, sometimes it is not.   Often the house is empty without our daughter’s laughter, other times we are so busy enjoying each other’s company like 20 year-olds (again), we hardly realize our daughter is away at college.  However, receiving this message and photo this morning reminds me that although we are separated by miles, she is still thinking of us.  That feeling in my heart causes another smile to quickly return to my face.

Today, Marie and I are headed to Ocean City to enjoy a rare day in April where forecasted temperatures are expected to be in the mid-60’s.  Frankly, it has been a rough couple months for Marie and me, juggling our normal work and house responsibilities along with managing my part-time tax business.  A part-time business I started 21 years ago when Lauren was just an infant.  While this additional income stream provides us with some additional security, as we aged the process has gotten more and more difficult to complete with our competing full-time work and family responsibilities.

In Racing in the Street - Springsteen sings “Tonight my baby and me, we're gonna ride to the sea and wash these sins off our hand.”  Today, we are definitely in need of some redemption.  In fact, today I’m making good on a promise I made to myself when Lauren and I were surfing Huntington Beach, California last year.  I’m buying a surfboard.   At the age of 51, I’m going to learn how to surf!

Some guys my age opt for the (make-over) Trophy Wife or the slick sports car.  Being a lifelong skier and sports enthusiast, I’ve decided this was the summer I was going to learn this gnarly sport.  I’m lucky, since Lauren’s boyfriend is an accomplished surfer, I’ve got some free surfing lessons coming my way, while he’s got some slam-dunk “brownie-points” coming his way.

We arrived in Ocean City and headed to Arlene’s for some breakfast.  One of the simple pleasures of life down the Shore is eating alfresco.  As we sat at our small wrought iron table, sipping our morning coffee and tea, we watched the locals going about their weekend routines.  Countless people walking dogs strolled by, across the street four women loaded surfboards on the top of their SUV, while bikers pedaled by up and down Asbury Avenue.  Our hectic life of the past four months now slowed to a crawl and seemed to move in time to a reggae beat.

The whole world seemed to be outside today, enjoying the sunshine, everyone doing their own thing.  I remarked to Marie that it reminded me of a spring skiing trip we took to Colorado years ago when we witnessed cars heading west on “I-70” carrying skis, kayaks, bikes, golf clubs and hiking gear.  It appears that spring has finally arrived and Marie and I can once again go outside and enjoy these pursuits together.

Our next stop was Surfers Supplies. 

Upon entering the store, we were greeted by Greg, the store’s owner with a casual “How’s it going guys?”  Turns out the store first opened in Ocean City in 1962.  These would the first of a series of interesting coincidences between Greg, the store and me.   At 47 years young, Greg informed me that he has been surfing for nearly 40 years.  After asking me a few basic questions concerning my surfing experience, ability, weight and goals….he started to educate me on the sport of surfing.  With an easy going disposition, he explained to me the differences between the brightly colored boards (sizes and models) like some kid giving away the combination to the safe that held the magic jellybeans of eternal youth.  I thought to myself, he gets to do this every single day.  I was jealous.

As if on cue, he picked out a white 9.6 Peter Pan surfboard.  Marie and I quickly looked at each other, as we both thought of the Disney character who refuses to grow up.  Named for the legendary surfer, Peter Panagiotis, I was now convinced the planets were lined up for some personal experience to rival only Haley’s Comet.  Somehow, I was meant to be at this store today buying this surfboard.  In my mind I started to hum the words to the Pearl Jam song “Amongst the Waves”.  At this point, Greg could have sold me anything and everything in his store and I would have said “yes”.  With the purchase completed, Marie and I made our way to the boardwalk.

We parked near 7th street and walked up the large cement ramp next to Wonderland Pier.  The Pier was open for business with the rides and attractions getting a trial run in anticipation of the summer of 2013.  While not quite the throng of visitors this section of the boardwalk can easy entertain on a hot summer Saturday night in July, there were many people outside enjoying the sights, sounds and smells that are truly unique to the Jersey Shore experience.

We casually walked along hand-in-hand, occasionally stopping at the racks of merchandise the shop owners had on display outside their stores.  We laughed out loud at the “new” t-shirt designs and logos that mirrored the current pop culture trends and celebrities, while noticing last year’s shirts hanging on the discount racks.  Although it is still considered off-season; younger kids were already annoying parents, teenage kids were trying to look cool, while the college kids seemed oblivious to the whole scene.   Marie sensing that I wanted to take some photos on the beach and fearing that the she would be chilly walking along the shoreline, suggested that we meet back at Music Pier in about one hour.

I grabbed my camera and headed to the surf.  This is where I am most happy.

As I walked aimlessly alongside the crashing waves, I thought about my love of photography, my renewed friendship with Joe and the photography business we recently started.  I thought about how we became friends when we were 14 years old.  I remembered our love of the Philly sports teams, our Wildwood days and those crazy arguments about music; Disco (Joe) versus Rock and Roll (Scott).  I remembered how I went off to college and he started working at the Casinos, how he ended up working in a family run business and I ended up in Corporate America.   Since then we both have become jaded and disillusioned with these former choices, so we are now starting down a new path together.   It feels equal parts scary and exciting.  Speaking of old t-shirts, I recalled those skiing t-shirts that once advertised – No risk, no reward. 

After completing my brief vision quest beach stroll, I quickly located Marie, eyes closed lying on a bench next to the pier.   I joined her as we sat there, both of us enjoying the warmth of sun overhead.  I’m sure many of you have experienced this unique beach experience that I’m about to describe.  It was if our personal battery pack that gives us stamina, monitors our stress levels, and dictates our daily mood swings was being re-energized as we sat silently under the sun.  Soon we would be forced to rise from our bench seat, making our way back to our car, which meant back to our home, which of course meant back to our day-to-day life, but for now no one controlled us, we controlled our destiny.   That was a satisfying feeling!

While making our way back to Wonderland Pier, we noticed large construction equipment on the beach attempting to restore the shoreline after the damaging effects of Hurricane Sandy.  People of all ages were taking photographs as we watched in awe as the larger than life equipment was engaged in a winner take all grudge match of Man versus Nature.   Would the beach, residents and merchants of Ocean City be given a second chance?  Only time would tell……

Speaking of second chances, I feel someone is now giving me another chance.  I’m old enough to know - second chances are rare.  A chance to do something that I love after years of doing something that just “paid the bills”.  Since I’ve just started down this new path, there will be many more waves coming my way.  There will be waves I will attempt to control that will invariable knock me off my board clouding my vision and filling my lungs with sea water.  But in time, there will also be waves that when I can learn to let go of my “control” I will hopefully ride to the beach.  That is where I want to be.

So until then my friends…..as the Hawaiians say “he’e nalu”. 

Enjoy your ride dudes cause it’s the only one you get.

Scott & Marie (and “Greg”)

Ocean City, NJ

May 2013

posted by South Jersey Local News at 7:16 PM

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Name: South Jersey Local News
Location: Moorestown, New Jersey

In no particular order the people, places and things that warped my brain: Jays (Elbow Room), TOPPS Baseball cards, Jersey Shore, Almost Famous, Spinal Tap, Stand By Me, WMMR, Cameron Crowe, Mel Brooks, Little League, LP’s, Rolling Stone, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Air Hockey, Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band, The Beach Boys, The Sandlot, Whiffle Ball, Say Anything, Woody Allen, Flyers, Caddyshack, Stone Pony, The Big Chill, Taping LP’s, AM Radio, The Spectrum, Yes, UDel, A Christmas Story, Diner, Photography, Pinball, The Princess Bride, Wire Ball, Slap Shot, Wildwood, Collecting LP’s, Barry Levinson, Baseball Digest, High Fidelity, Brigantine, Phillies, WFIL, 8 Tracks, Margate Bars, Pi Kappa Phi Frat, Jon Anderson, FM Radio, Jimmy Buffett, Brian Wilson, WIOQ (Ed Sciaky), Golf, Hockey Digest, U2, Dr. Jeckyll’s (bar), 45’s, Animal House, Ethan & Joel Coen, The Pope of Greenwich Village, The Sandlot, Dazed and Confused, Led Zeppelin, The Who, Stones, Beatles, Reservoir Dogs, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Maloney’s Bike-a-thon, Pulp Fiction, Hiking, The Jug “Handle”(bar), Asbury Park, The Vet, Genesis, Yoga, Tom Petty, Ferris Bueller, WMGK, Pink Floyd, Motown......

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Previous Posts

  • More Than a Feeling
  • I'm One, We're Two
  • Jersey Shore Comeback
  • We Got Married
  • Pursuit of Happyness
  • On Life's Journey With Jimmy and Bruce
  • From There to Back Again
  • My Life Has Been Measured in Summers Past
  • Obeying My Inner Beach Child
  • At the Turn

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